The Seventies Couples Dinner

Couples dinner 6/7/08
The Seventies
You are here because you want to build and bless your marriage and so you are investing in it, or you are here because you feel like you have to be, which is all the more reason to listen to what I have to share tonight. (THE THEME IS THE SEVENTIES)
I. The decade described:
A. Dedicated to Self: (according to Wikipedia)
1. The decade of the sixties was noteworthy as a period of social activism
2. The seventies stood out as a time of social activities centered in self-pleasure
a. The author Tom Wolfe referred to the seventies as the "Me Decade"
B. If this was descriptive of the seventies, I would suggest to you that this is even more descriptive of our world today.
1. Our world is more obsessed today with doing what it pleases than perhaps at any other time in history.
a. We no longer care what it costs or who it hurts as long as it goes my way.
(1) And if it doesn't go my way then I will make you pay for it one way or another.
C. We are obsessed with my way is the right way, and we seldom really do things God's way, which is truly the right way.
II. We come to God's word to find out what God's ways are and to let His word transform us accordingly.
Romans 12:1-2 (NKJV)
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
A. Oh how well we know these verses, but I wonder if we are really allowing the word of God to change us from the self-life to the Christ-like-life?
B. There are two paths that we can walk on through this life, one is to live for God's honor and glory, and the other is full of self.
1. One contains eternal life, the other is full of wrath and anger and leads to judgment.
Romans 2:5-8 (NKJV)
5 But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
6 who “will render to each one according to his deeds”:
7 eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality;
8 but to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness—indignation and wrath,
C. Christ is our supreme and most excellent example, He is the one we want to imitate.
1. Daniel prophesied concerning Jesus that He would reject the self-life to the point of death.
Daniel 9:26 (NKJV)
26 “And after the sixty-two weeks Messiah shall be cut off, but not for Himself; And the people of the prince who is to come Shall destroy the city and the sanctuary. The end of it shall be with a flood, And till the end of the war desolations are determined.
a. And so He did! --- And so should we, but do we?
2. Jesus taught
John 15:12-15 (NKJV)
12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

When Jesus washed the disciples feet:

John 13:12-17 (NKJV)
12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you?
13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.
14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.
15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.
16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.
17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

He taught us that we are to be serving others out of love

D. The secret to Joy is found in the acronym J-O-Y
1. Jesus and His glory first priority
2. Others and there well being before your own
3. You, self is last on the list
a. Nave's Topical index of the bible for the topic of self list the following aspects of sel-life:
Some negative
Self-Delusion
Selfishness
Self-Righteousness
Self-Will and Stubbornness
Self-condemnation
Self-confidence
Self-crimination
Self-deception
Self-exaltation
Self-indulgence
Selfish-ambition

Book of Esther, Haman = the flesh (self-life) ten son of Haman represent aspects of self life all must be put to death daily!

Some positive
Self-Denial
Self-control
Self-examination
b. Jesus set the will of the Father above His own, and sought to please the Father and not Himself (sacrifice was required)
John 5:30 (NKJV)
30 I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.

John 8:29 (NKJV)
29 And He who sent Me is with Me. The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him.”
(1) To live and love the way that pleases God will require sacrifice.
III. A major road block to blessing others especially our spouse.
A. Jesus has taught and set a wonderful example for us, and though very costly, we understand that it is the way that gives life eternal life, and defeats death.
1. What a wonderful encouragement for us to follow Him in the way which leads to life and imparts life to others.
B. But it is not an easy road, and one of the major hurtles for us, especially in the context of marriage is found for us back in Romans 2 kind of where we stared, when we talked about the two paths we can walk on in this life, that either contain life and blessing, or wrath and judgment.
Romans 2:1-8 (NKJV)
1 Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.
2 But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things.
3 And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God?
4 Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?
5 But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
6 who “will render to each one according to his deeds”:
7 eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality;
8 but to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness—indignation and wrath,
1. That problem is that we judge others, and we hold back from them because of it.
2919 ????? [krino /kree·no/] v. Perhaps a primitive word; TDNT 3:921; TDNTA 469; GK 3212; 114 occurrences; AV translates as ?judge? 88 times, ?determine? seven times, ?condemn? five times, ?go to law? twice, ?call in question? twice, ?esteem? twice, and translated miscellaneously eight times.
1 to separate, put asunder, to pick out, select, choose.
2 to approve, esteem, to prefer.
3 to be of opinion, deem, think, to be of opinion.
4 to determine, resolve, decree.
5 to judge.
5a to pronounce an opinion concerning right and wrong.
5a1 to be judged, i.e. summoned to trial that one?s case may be examined and judgment passed upon it.
5b to pronounce judgment, to subject to censure.
5b1 of those who act the part of judges or arbiters in matters of common life, or pass judgment on the deeds and words of others.
6 to rule, govern.
6a to preside over with the power of giving judicial decisions, because it was the prerogative of kings and rulers to pass judgment.
7 to contend together, of warriors and combatants.
7a to dispute.
7b in a forensic sense. 7b1 to go to law, have suit at law.
Strong, James: The Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible : Showing Every Word of the Text of the Common English Version of the Canonical Books, and Every Occurrence of Each Word in Regular Order. electronic ed. Ontario : Woodside Bible Fellowship., 1996, S. G2919
a. We find fault or perceived faults and then we hold back:
(1) Our love
(2) Our companionship
(3) From doing or acting in a way that would bless the other
(4) We blame them for our unhappiness or discontent when the real problem is us, because the source of these things is Jesus and we are looking in the wrong place for them.
(a) And we have placed on our spouse an expectation they can't meet, and a burden they can't carry.
b. There is a difference between being inadequate and refusing to do what you should.
John 9:41 (NKJV)
41 Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now you say, ‘We see.’ Therefore your sin remains.

James 4:17 (NKJV)
17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.
IV. So let me encourage you, don't be part of the ME generations, but lay down your life for the other.
Matthew 16:25 (NKJV)
25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
A. Let me encourage you, do your best to give love to your spouse and leave your opinions, your judgment of them with Christ, He will bless you for it.
B. Communicate to your spouse lovingly, gently, frequently as necessary to help them understand you.
C. I join the author of Romans 12:1 and the God who inspired his words in pleading to you: Romans 12:1
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
1. Don't wait to start loving as completely as you can right away, squeeze the criticisms out of your thinking and give yourself fully and completely to loving your spouse.
a. You will be doing things God's way if you do, and you will be blessed as you do so, because there is life in doing things God's way and not our own way.